GRIM UNIVERSE
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Steven universe...Grim would equate it to a sugar bowl...hiding a scorpion. If grim has anything to say about it; they'll upgrade to a shark! An example of my "Grim Mcgee" challenge!


GRIM UNIVERSE

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Peedee tried to enjoy the sea horse ride...but the magic just wasn't there anymore... "This seahorse used to make me so happy... Now it's just giving me whiplash. I feel like there's just no point to it, you know?"

"I just feel tingly!" Shouted a happy Steven on the jelly fish ride. Peedee _sighed._ "You'll understand when you have a job."

"I _do_ have a job! Exclaimed Steven. I protect humanity from magic and monsters and stuff!" Peedee shook his head. "I mean a real job that you get paid for."

"I'm paid in the smiles across the town's faces!" Exclaimed Steven. Peedee sighed again. "I don't see anyone smiling... You pick up a job to buy a house, or raise kids, or to... impress your dad. You work away your life and what does it get you?"

Smiles in faces? Guessed Steven. "No... You get _cash_. Cash that can't buy back what the job takes... not if you rode every seahorse in the world." Said a depressed Peedee.

…...

Nearby Grim couldn't believe his ears. He had to double check to make sure he was in a cartoon. A little kid with depressingly heart-wrenching inner depths? In a kids cartoon?

When he saw all the color and vibrancy on the cover; he'd been expecting to get his fair share of diabetes shots! But this...This was marvelous! For once he didn't have to do anything! It was grim all on it's own.

He watched the menace of Frybo runs amok. He then watched the boy give himself finger cats...With disastrous consequences!? HA! Genius!...and it kept coming! Episode after episode!

Grim smiled...And then he frowned. Fun was fun, but really he just wanted to get his hooks into it all the more now! But what's the point of putting more rubbish on an already mountain sized rubbish heap?

It didn't- "Hello, what have we here?" Asked Grim suddenly with a smirk as he saw the title: "Indirect Kiss." Grim rubbed his hands together as he swept himself into the episode...

…...

Pearl saw that Steven really looked upset over the fact he hadn't technically healed Amethyst. She smiled, bent down and tried to comfort Steven. She already had a great pep talk all figured out. She opened her mouth and-

"Oh Steven, you don't have healing tears, you'll never have any real magic powers, and we don't want anything more to do with you."

You could hear a pin drop. Amethyst's mouth dropped open. Garnet was gaping at her in shocked disbelief. And Steven...Steven was crying! Pearl was frozen in shock. She felt dread and shame coursing through her trembling body.

 _D-did I just say that?_ Thought a horrified pearl. She tried to speak again- But Steven was already running away. Pearl desperately tried to call after him. "Steven I-"

 **SMACK!**

Her face exploded in pain. She looked up and saw Garnet. Never in all pearls life had she seen her so furious! She tried to speak; But Garnet was having none of it! She punched and punched. Tears welling in her eyes! And Amethyst...Amethyst just watched...

…...

Unseen by all. Grim watched amused as Garnet beat pearl so hard she reverted back into a gem. Sure this episode had still been a dish before he got here!

Still, it had been one tasty revision away from true nirvana! He chuckled, then he remembered! "Shoot! I almost forget me theme song!" He turned to the audience and began-

 **THESE FAIRY TALES ARE MUCH TOO CLEAN!**

 **SO DULL AND DRY, A LIFELESS DREAM!**

 **I'LL BREW EM' BLEAK!**

 **I'LL CRAFT EM' DARK!**

 **TO MAKE EM' GRIM AS MY OWN HEART!**

 **MY GUTS FILL UP WITH "PRETTY TALES"!**

 **THEIR PRISSY CUTENESS NEVER FAILS, TO MAKE ME PUKE!**

 **TO LOSE MY WITS!**

 **TO ROT MY TEETH!**

 **AND GIVE ME FITS!**

 **UP THE RANCID, STALE AND FOUL!**

 **DESPISE THE HAPPY ENDING!**

 **GROSS AND NASTY MAKE ME HOWL!**

 **THOUGH THEY MAYBE OFFENDING!**

 **I'M HERE TO TELL TRUE TALES OF BLIGHT!**

 **OF FEAR, AND WOE. BRING BACK THE NIGHT!**

 **I HATE DUMB LUCK! I ADORE UPCHUCK!**

 **MY HUMBLE GOAL IS TO RUN AMUCK!**

Grim then made a little bow.

MAY ALL OUR STORIES END SO WELL...UNTIL NEXT TIME!

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

 **This is an example of my "Grim Mcgee" Challenge, go to my profile to look up this or other challenges**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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